Let Me Tell You About Homestuck

To all the Homestucks, *hugs*
For all the non-Homestucks out there, I swear that this isn't as weird as it seems.
Also, this is filled with spoilers, so you might wanna scadaddle on out if you don't appreciate that sort of thing.
Okay, so Homestuck is a webcomic made by Andrew Hussie. It is one of the ten longest works in the English language at over 6,000 pages. It is largely made up of flash animations and pictures, which is what classifies it as a comic. However, there is a LARGE amount of reading.
So.
Much.
Reading.
However, if you're a lazy person who doesn't want to do the reading, then you can watch it on Homestuck CoLab. They have taken all of the animations and pictures and made them into handy YouTube videos, and even read aloud everything for you. Aren't you a lucky duck.
The fandom call themselves Homestucks, are obsessed with shipping, and love to draw fanart. It's pretty cool actually.
Okay, enough with this.
Time for pictures and A QUICK LOOK INTO HOMESTUCK.

Quick explanation:
So Homestuck surrounds a game called Sburb. This game basically creates new universes, by destroying the one that the players enter in (in the case of Homestuck, three universes are destroyed) and creating the egg for a new one to be born (so far, only two have succeeded in the comic) . The story mostly focuses on the destruction, birth, and protection of various universes.


Characters:

Beta Kids:
These first four kids make up the group called the Beta Kids. They are from our universe, and are the ones we follow for the majority of the time. They all started out as internet buddies, and didn't meet each other until at least act three (not sure about that fact, but it's still sad that they had to wait even THAT long).

From: rebloggy.com

This lovely boy right here is John Egbert, who is probably the most likely candidate for main character in Homestuck. Maybe.

He's a total dork who is obsessed with old films and has a fanboy crush on Nick Cage.

Actually, I want to tell a quick story really quick about Nick Cage. I absolutely DETEST Nick Cage.
I think he's a stupid actor that can't keep his nose out of a film that would've been perfectly good if he had kept his silly face out of it.
Anyway, I was texting my friend Bailey (who's blog is here btw) about how I had just seen Con Air and how I would've liked it if Nick Cage and his bad southern accent hadn't been the star. Her friend Tori was apparently sitting right behind her, because she was suddenly screaming at me about how we would have a duel at sunrise. Turns out Tori is a total Cage fan.
Since I didn't want to get up at sunrise and possibly die the next day, I suggested we duel it out over a nice carnival game instead. We were going to an amusement park the next day for Bailey's birthday anyway.
All morning we searched for the perfect way to duel over Cage's honor. It had to be a test that relied neither on luck, skill, or strength. It would have to have the perfect combination of all.
We decided on skeeball.
At high noon (more like 4:00 but high noon is more dramatic), we rolled 8 wooden balls up a track into holes with different point values. We each felt the pressure to win. Our friends watched in silence behind us, probably trying to use telekenisis to help the one that they wanted to win.
And guess who won?
Me.
Me.
ME!
BECAUSE OF THAT DAY, NICHOLAS CAGE IS FOREVER SHAMED AS A TERRIBLE ACTOR.

Original picture before I messed with it is from www.hdwallpapers360.com

Okay. I really got off topic there.

Anyway, John is a sweetheart who is the first to enter the medium (the game) and be awesome. His birthday is what kicks off the story.

from: mspaintadventures.wikia.com

This is Rose Lalonde. She is my favorite character in Homestuck. She is a bright young girl who likes to knit, read, write, and dabble in psychoanalysis. She's the smartest of the beta kids, and is really the brains of the group.

Also from mspaintadventures.wikia.com

This cool kid is Dave Strider. He enjoys layin down 'ill' beats, taking amateur photos, and maintaing his various ironic blogs and social networking profiles. He's really as big of a dork as John is, but he wears cool shades, which makes it all better.

from: soundcloud.com

And last but not least for the first group, Jade Harley. She's a total sweetie who lives on an island with a volcano, which I think is pretty cool. She likes science, shooting things, and is kind of psychic. At least she is for the first bit of the comic. I dunno.

Trolls:

These are the characters from the second universe, which comes in in Act 5.  There are 12 of them, each corresponding with a sign of the zodiac. They live in a society that ranks them by the color of their blood (otherwise known as the hemospectrum ((which is in the order of the rainbow)), so I'll introduce them in that order.

from www.plastimake.com

This is Karkat Vantas. He's the main troll. As you can see from his shirt, his symbol is cancer. He is very loud, very cranky, AND REALLY ENJOYS TYPING IN ALL CAPS AND SWEARING A WHOLE LOT. He has a blood mutation that makes his blood this color. This is irregular and therefore puts him at the end of the hemospectrum, making him an outcast. However, he hides it, so that's why he can still be friends with guys like Gamzee.

That reminds me. If you have an issue with swearing, then Homestuck isn't for you. I'm sorry that I went all this way without telling you.

MOVING ON.

Yet again, a picture from mspaintadventures.wikia.com

This is Aradia Megido. Her eyes are funny because she's dead for a good portion of the comic. Her symbol is aries, and her blood is this color. She's pretty bland while she's a ghost, but later when she's alive she tries WAY too hard to be happy. She died because Vriska (who will be explained later) mind controlled Sollux (who will also be explained later) to kill her.

When is it not from mspaintadventures.wikia.com?

This is Tavros Nitram. His symbol is taurus, which I didn't know at first but it really explains the horns. His blood is this color. He's in a wheelchair because Vriska pushed him off a cliff. He's a total sweetie that has NO self confidence whatsoever. He likes to rap with Dave sometimes, but sucks at it. A lot. He has a dream to fly, which was inspired by his favorite character Pupa Pan.

Hmm. I guess now it isn't. From:rebloggy.com

This is Sullox Captor. He has a thing for making computer viruses, and likes to eat mind honey, WHICH IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SHOULD DO, YOUNG CHILDREN. His symbol is Gemini, which totally makes sense because of the parallels. I mean look at his shoes for pete's sake! His blood is this color. He was the one that introduced the troll version of Sburb (Sgrub) and started that session.

Oh look. We're back to mspaintadventures.wikia.com

This adorable little thing is Nepeta Leijon. She really REALLY likes cats, which makes sense since her sign is leo. She enjoys shipping her friends together (shipping is when you want two people to be in a relationship), and drawing. Her blood is this color.

*sigh* too many captions for mspaintadventures.wikia.com

This is Kanaya Maryam. She is really into fashion. She is probably the most level headed of the trolls, which is probably why she becomes Rose's patron troll. Her sign is Virgo, and her blood is this color.

Humdeedum.....mspaintadventures.wikia.com

This is Terezi Pyrope. Her sign is libra (my sign) and her blood is this color. She is blind, because of an attack by Vriska. However, she was taught to see with her other senses, including smell and taste. She enjoys dragons, and has a Batman-esque love for justice. She's my favorite troll.

Ooh! A different link! dr-amy.tumblr.com

And then there's this *****, I mean Vriska Serket. Her sign is scorpio, and her blood is this color. Her theme really centers around spiders, as she has eightfold vision, and just likes eights. It doesn't really make sense since scorpio has very little do do with spiders. Maybe it's cus she's in the eighth caste? I dunno. Anyway she's a total jerkface, but you sort of like her for it. The picture is from later in the comic, but she lost her eightfold vision (being forced to have only normal vision (which is SUCH a tragedy)) and her arm when a magic cueball blew up in her hand. The explosion was indirectly linked to Terezi, which is why Vriska blinded Terezi.

Maybe some of you should visit mspaintadventures.wikia.com. It definitely explains things better than I do.

This is Equius Zahhak. I really don't like him that much, so this is gonna be short. His sign is Sagittarius  and his blood is this color. He likes horses and archery. He's also super STRONG.

Moving on.

RAWRGERFARGAL! mspaintadventures.wikia.com

I despise this guy, but he's too important for me to be able to just skip over. Meet Gamzee Makara. He enjoys clowns *shivers in fear*, a soda called Faygo, and sopor slime (which is sort of a drug?). At first, he's a laid back guy who really doesn't do much but occupy space. BUT THEN HE GOES STINKING INSANE AND IT'S HORRIBLE AND HE KILLS EVERYONE YOU LOVE AND I HATE HIM SO STINKING MUCH FOR IT AND ALL THE HONKING!!!!

ALL THE HONKING.

ALL OF IT.

Sorry about that.

His sign is capricorn, and his blood is this color.

Hmm. I wonder what the link for this one could be.......BAM! mspaintadventures.wikia.com

This is Eridan Ampora. The two highest castes of the hemospectrum are made up of fish trolls. They aren't different from other trolls except for the fact that they have gills. He is bent on destroying the lower trolls, and whines about everything. His sign is aquarius, and his blood is this color.

Do I really need to say it? I do? Fine. mspaintadventures.wikia.com

Last but not least (for the trolls at least) is Feferi Pexies. She is the highest on the hemospectrum, with blood that is this color. In fact, she is so high up that she is the heir to the throne of the troll monarchy. She's really sweet, and just wants to swim around all day and use fish puns. 

OHMYGOD THAT TOOK A LONG TIME TO MAKE.

BUT WE AREN'T DONE WITH CHARACTERS YET.

Alpha Kids:
So these are the characters in the third universe we see. This universe was created by a dead session from the original kids session. They did this thing called The Scratch to reset their session. For them to do this, they'd have to die and other kids have to complete their mission. The whole process is more complicated than that BUT HERE'S THE ALPHA KIDS.

Will the ceasless waves of mspaintadventures.wikia.com ever stop? Will they go on and on like the seas of time, washing over the poor souls that can't escape?

This is Jane Crocker. She is John's descendant in the new universe. She is the heiress to the Betty Crocker cooperation, which is evil and is pretty much an evil empire. She enjoys baking, and tomfoolery.

Apparently not.
*sigh*
I hate mspaintadventures.wikia.com

This is Jake English, who is Jade's descendent in the new universe. He lives on the same island that Jade used to live on (she became his grandma in the new universe, btw. But she's dead so it sorta sucks). He really likes adventures, skulls, and bad movies. So hooray for that. Every Alpha kid has a major crush on him which is really annoying but he does get together with one of them. Guess which one it is?

This is so freaking repetitive. mspaintadventures.wikia.com

This is Dirk Strider. He's Dave's descendent in the new universe. He builds robots for his friends and is just about as cool as Dave.

What sucks most about this is that I can't even get onto mspaintadventures.wikia.com on this computer.

This is Roxy Lalonde. She's Rose's descendent in the new universe. She's sort of an alcoholic. She enjoys science, and loves cats with too many eyes. She lives peacefully with various species of reptiles before the session starts.

Okay, I'm done with characters.
Yes, I know that there are tons that I haven't mentioned. Yes I'm aware that the dancestors, guardians, midnight crew, cherubs, and tons of others exist  BUT I ALREADY DID ALL THESE FREAKING CHARACTERS FOR YOU. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?!?!?

Moving on.

The Settings:
There are a ton of places that this comic takes place in, but I'm focusing on realms and universes.

Beta Universe:

www.mspaforums.com makes the count  mspaintadventures.wikia.com: 15
Other websites: 6

This is the universe where the Beta Kids grew up, which isn't hard to infer since beta is in both names. It's just like Earth, so not much explanation is necessary.

Alternia:

*FACE DESK* mspaintadventures.wikia.com

This is the planet where the trolls grew up. It is filled with oceans, forests, and is actually a lot like earth besides the troll-ness.

Alpha Universe:

Oddly enough, this is from the actual Homestuck website www.mspaintadventures.com . Check it out!

This is where the alpha kids live. It is dominated by Crocker Corp (Betty Crocker) and was on it's way to ruin anyway when the alpha kids started playing Sburb.

Derse/Prospit:

multiverse-crisis.wikidot.com 

The thing with Sburb/Sgrub players is that when they dream, they go to either Derse (the purple one) or Prospit (the yellow one). They are both metropolis moons that orbit Skaia, and are kind of the prep ground of the big battle that occurs in each session.

Skaia:

I give up. mspaintadventures.wikia.com

Skaia is sort of ground zero for each session. Everything exists within Skaia, and the outcome of the big battle is what determines if there will be a new universe or not. It's VERY important.

Land of ___ and ___:

Yes it's in poor quality. I tried, okay? www.wallsave.com

In the game, each player goes to their own land where they can defeat their denizen (boss) and god tier. They each have two qualities, such as Land of Frost and Frogs.

Okay, since this post is already super stinking long, and I'm getting really sick of trying to explain things, I'll stop here. There's a ton of stuff that I left out, like God Tiers and Guardians and I'm super sorry. If enough people want a sequel, I can do that another time.

So that's homestuck for you.

go to mspaintadventures.com to read.

I'm tired. I'm done. I'm going to bed.

Bye.